Winter Flower
by Alkyonides Meres
Summary: And I, who seek of a sadness to mark me, before the light soars, will deny you once more. Sasuke x Hinata


**Disclaimer : I own nothing but the plot.**

**Pairings : Sasuke x Hinata**

**Warnings : Curse words, sexual situations (nothing too graphic though), implied torture.**

**Summary : _and I, who seek of a sadness to mark me, __before the light soars, will deny you once more._**

**Italics are to be read seperately because they are a poem of mine..**

_Autumn dawns upon love tonight_

Dark eyes found mine. Their gaze so lost, so desperate {so fucking honest}. What am I to do? How am I to pull away from him, to strip myself of his raw intensity? He is the only one who can look at me and see every bit of the fucking broken thing I am and willingly claim it. He is the only thing this souless body of mine has left so that it can feel.

_the mountains smell of peonies and honey_

We hide in plain sight. He is wanted throughout every nation in the Shinobi Lands, having massacred many, even from my own kin. Yet he possessively, holds on to me and renders me immobile, a slave to his whims {I'm not used to this}. I betray everything i am, everything i've fought for, just to be with him during those agonizing, stolen hours.

_And I silently gaze at the wet ground_

I possessively hold on to him too. I simply am not strong enought to even think of stopping this. His hands carress every inch of my body during our traitorous nights. His callused hands explore my soft, moon kissed skin as his tongue worships my body, treading lower, lower, lower, until I am reduced to a shattering mess of nerves, trembling as he soars me through the skies {like a true eagle}. I see him above me, the moon illuminating this fallen angel between my legs.

_like a burning coal, this beauty burns me.._

This.. this thing {lust, love, obsession} we share is not to last and we are both aware. He is merely taking his last revenge against Konoha through me, defiling it's beloved princess, making me feel dirty, beautiful {alive}. Me? I'm just rebelling against everything they always and never see in me. His touch burns my skin, making me moan in ecstacy his forbidden name, revering in the many levels of the absolute sin that I alone am commiting to my kin {he is commited to none}

_I seek from the skies a kiss.. Instead they return me ashes.._

I never kiss him. He always does, his tongue invading my mouth, caressing and dominating it, pulling me in his taste of rich, dark velvet chocolate that screams of his essence. I completely lose all control when his heated lips leave a hot trail of opened mouth kisses down my unblemished {unpure} throat. His touch destroys all that's left of me.

_but even if I want to cut you off of my heart's net.._

I do not love him. I've felt the emotion and this thing here is far from it {but still close enough}. This is something base but at the same time more pure and true than any other bond I've formed. This here is crude, is unkind but also it's yielding, it's constant and it's raw. He makes me do things, he pushes me far beyond my limits, he breaks me apart and pulls me back so in return, I shower him with the only thing he absolutely needs. {He never denies it anymore}. Still I tell him to stop each and every day, if only to receive a half smile before he pushes me against the nearest wall, hooks my legs through his waist and fuck me senseless, leaving me wondering why I ever wanted to leave in the first place.

_my doorframes slightly flutter and the locks are turned.._

I hate him, because he has his way with my body, tuning it like a fine instrument to make me compliant to his sinister touch. It's sick this growing need between us, it's tormenting and alluring and everything not me. The pain, the pleasure, the guilty way I scream when I climax is so enticing it leaves me begging for more. It even steals his breath as he reverently whisper my name to the skies, as I feel him soar with me, to a heaven made for us that is putting us through hell. He holds me close, even when I try brokenly to shove him away. He endures and prevails, holding me longingly, begging me to carress his hair {it's the least i can offer this broken boy}. His head lean against my chest, as my heart lulls him into a peaceful sleep {certain with every bit he hears that I am alive}

_the wind chimes "if you are to come, don't delay".._

I wait every time for him, since apparently he has inherited his former master's well known tardiness {He vehemently denies this but also lets it slide}. So full of contradictions, I muse as I stare at him. He is fire and ice, yin and yang, so whole yet so empty. So out of reach. Yet it doesn't matter for he reaches out in the end, clutching me to him, whispering uselless {kind} sweet words to my ears as he gently, but firmly, holds me a prisoner. And then as I caress his bare back and neck he gets goose bumbs all over from my absent fondness and suddenly I am on my back and he is inside me, living through me, feeling through me. {Exploiting me}

_Take off your clothes and bathe from the water pouring through my eyes.._

I cry for him. He seems unable to express any emotion, apart from a deep lingering sadness, or this never ending lust, which forces feelings upon him. So I weep and mourn for his losses, his pain and anguish and own regrets, the many broken paths he took and the way he hates not the whole world, but himself. I shed these tears because through them he is released, purified {free}

_remember.. seperation is a winter flower_

But an end comes to all things. And soon so my tears, our last, our broken bonds. They coil around each other and we, wounded and torn must break away from each other, continue to exist seperately, before we descent to madness. He refuses this, he screams and throws a fit, but I am unrelenting. It has gone too far, it always does, and usually {always} he is the one to break of all ties, but this here is not something he can severe. I have to be the strong one {for the first time in my life} and I've never felt such a bitch, a whore. I do it for him, because they've realised something {I have realised something} and I cannot {will not} endanger him. He is to go for I would not return and this time I spoke of no idle threats. He knows {he doesn't attempt to stop me.}

_I lived in sadness during days and nights_

Hollow and bleak. Those were my days, my nights, my hours. I could not go on even though I knew I absolutely had to. I missed him. It was so simple it killed me with it's intensity. I remember his eyes {I always do}. Black black eyes like the abyss his soul is thrown into, like his days and nights. I could never hope to fly him towards the sun anymore. Of all the failures surrounding my life, this one strangely pains me the most.

_I leave you in the air to find you in the light_

A half sob escapes me in my prison. I would never have hoped to escape, but this was too unjust, too cruel {too expected}. They could strip me of anything, everything, but his memory was not to be taken away. As familiar, loving blue eyes tear through my mind in a desperate attempt to find anything to connect the dots to him, so that I could finally be free, I stubbornly refuse any access and only hold on to the afterthought of his lingering taste as I smile a broken, bloodied grin. They are safe now, away from me, both my lights and his memory... their memory.. forever mine.

_Love dines in fears and dreams before it breaks apart_

Once in his embrace I had the most vivid dream. A child, a little boy, with black blue hair and grey-black eyes was running towards me, his out stretched hands yearning for me. I longigly reached out to him, screaming a half forgotten name and saw his smiling face crumble into fear and tears. I had woken up startled, scared and so.. so alone {empty}. My heart was beating frantically and at that night it was me who had drowned out all my fears through his body, it was me riding out an ecstasy from us. It was me ruining us that night.

_in pain's forgotten church, solicity is holy_

I gaze at my bloodies hands. Two days ago they {are family remember?} had tried to take away all that was left to me. The seed of our sin had thrived and though I'd never deem my own flesh a mistake, I could not allow my last remaing thread of sanity stay with me. He had found out, he always knew everything it seems, and had come to claim both of us. What a foolish and arrogant boy he is. Of course they'd find us. But I had promised as I held my precious precious treasure that noone {noone} would lay a finger upon him. Had he tried to disobey my orders that night, I would have cut off hsi reproducing methods and flee myself with our {mine} gift. But he didn't. {I always knew he wouldn't}. His need for revenge was genetic, I was sure of it now. So I kissed him. Just to wipe out this last doubt from his pretty face. And as I was holding back a dozen ANBU, while blood seeped from multiple wounds, I kept grining maniacaly because they were free {and Ι had been free once during those few stolen hours}. Noone would touch them. I'd made sure.

_and I, who seek of a sadness to mark me_

And now broken, battered and so_ so _alive I gaze at the walls seeing _them_ in my mind's {heart's} eye. Seeing them playing, training, taking care of each other and living free and away from this rotten place. So when my masters {my friends} my jailers {my kin} come and try and force answers out of me, I laughingly deny everything. In my mind I am free and I can gaze at the two playing somewhere far away. In my mind the feeling of my baby in my hands as I dance with him is real and in my mind his lips upon mine, his heat inside me once more soars me into heaven, even if this traitorous body of mine screams with pain and sorrow of what once was, of what could have been and of what will never be. But most of all it endures and rejoices of all that that will be. So as the moon falls and the sun bleeds red the sky I...

Deny them.

_before the light soars, will deny you once more._

**So..?**


End file.
